this is what happens when you are stuck at home. and surrounded by books. you start thinking about everything, anything and nothing.

i think that whole period was a huge leap forward for me. it suddenly jumped to a whole new level that i was unfamiliar with. and it thrilled, yet scared me at the same time. i don't think i can go back down now once i've stepped up. yet at the same time, like the first time on e previous stage i was at.. it hurt, it scarred deep. and it took me a long time to get over all the doubts it created. the period itself was easy to forget. snapped fingers (a few times :p) and it faded.

but in recovering, i think i sub-consciously burrowed myself into this are that was safe & risk-free. partly because i knew nothing would happen, partly cos i wouldn't let it. and it was good. it was a safe haven to be in. it was warm, happy and fantastic. it still is. and so i put that part of my life on pause. happy to be in a quiet simple place. and barricaded everyone else from entering that part.

but now. i think i've finally come to see that i was burrowing. and i think i'm ready to come out from my little hole again (:

its a liberating feeling. hahaha